Birth Family Meeting

March 10, 2008,Monday
The staff of the adoption agency we used, along with a private translator, piled into a van with us to make the trip to Hoi An. It was a nice drive with everyone chatting amongst each other. We got lucky and had the nicest and funniest driver. What a sense of kindness and humor.

We past the resort that we would be staying at and went another couple miles to a very country side area and the Vietnamese people in the van were chatting away in Vietnamese and one could tell they were kind of confused as to exactly how to get where we were going. All got on their cell phones and within moments we were travelling down a dirt road lined on both sides with small homes. Very different homes. More like shacks or huts. We would get a glimpse of a child playing or a lady/man sitting in the front. One definitely got the feeling that they didn't usually have a van, filled with people, muchless a couple white ones, driving down that road.

Then the van stopped. To our left was a lady standing and waiting in anticipation. One look and both Steve and I said "it's her, there she is" - Sophie's birth mother stood flooded with tears waiting on us (we also found out that she was told a different time and thought we had changed our minds and weren't coming).

Sophie was wrapped in her caregivers arms so when we stopped and their door was opened the caregiver handed her to her birthmother. She held her tight and started walking swiftly down another dirt road up to her home. It did, really did, freak me out. I did not want either of my daughters out of my sight for one moment and in one moment that is exactly what happened. I started to cry and pray - I just didn't know.....and then in a moment I was reassured by the social worker, my husband, and other staff that everything would be okay. I had to go with the trust I had in them.

We walked into her home - very small, very simple and I tell you - the entire village was piling around and in the house. I was shocked. Sophie, Sadie and Steve were amazed and shocked. People were instantly everywhere you looked. We were on display and it was an odd feeling. I kept asking Sophie if she was alright and she kept assuring me she was. Her birthmother held her for a bit and then pulled up a chair and placed Sophie between the two of us. That was a wonderful moment between two mothers. Sophie held her hand on the left and mine on the right.

We all were able to meet Sophie's birth grandmother - almost 85 years old. We also meet Sophie's two birth brothers, an Aunt and Uncle, another Aunt and a dear friend of their family.

The birthmother gave Sophie and our family gifts. We gave her some special gifts. We knew it was overwhelming for us so it had to be getting to Sophie. We all decided that we should get together another time without so much hoopla. Everyone agreed and we all said our good byes. We piled back into the van and the entire village touched both of our daughters as they said good bye. A very different but very nice visit.